Just some wise words

Cop: "Sir, what's in the bottle?" Me: "It's water." Cop: "Sir, this is wine." Me: "What? That damn Jesus! He did it again!"

I wish my microwave played "The Final Countdown" for the last 30 seconds

If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black were drowning and you could only save one, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

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